Personal Victory

There is you then there's me
Crossfire conflicts between us
I see my destiny, ours
I am supplied with all necessities, only a few is needed to survive this war
My physical support is logged into a pint, a chemical attribute that can cure the ultimate wound
This medicine, a substance that can heal the dead skin that so prolongs to linger away from my tattered bodily form
A loaded piece of metal that breaks the commandment of free will, only to protect a life long willed to fight with, for, and against; you.
And a dehydrate that keeps me full of focus on what is needed to be accomplished
Not much, but I must have it because I am too weak and scared to fulfill this mission to get to you.
The path is so clear, I can see it through the smog of hate, sadness, despair, and confusion.. I see it… me..you…him with us…
It's there, as I scurry through this battle of lost souls,
Crawling, crouching, sprinting, ducking, running… I am so close I can smell the scent of your love intensifying the temperature of my body heat
It wraps me into a stage of denial
I spring up from the jerk of my body and mind clashing against one another in a chaotic formation
Eyes fluttering open, the taste of completion forces an upward smirk on my face.
As I silently prepare to celebrate the victory
I wake up, only to accept failure
Gaining a clear view, I see I'm right where I thought I was out of.
But I thought, I was done.
I rustle in panic through my sack and I still have all my wants, to finish this trial. A minor relief of disappointment exhales through my mouth.
I sigh, most distraughtly, because I am still here, even though my victory was present 30 seconds ago, it was wasn't it?
The pain of defeat overwhelmingly attacks my soul
Soon after my five senses start to reestablish their places in me, there embarks an overwhelming sensation of physical, mental, and verbal pain.
The wound of a piece of lead fights its way through my flesh
The fact that I'm still laying here, pisses me off, and puts me in a state of fright.
The yells and screams, and cries, and woes of my comrades and foes makes me sway my head from left to right in agony I stop only to look up into a crack of sun; I see endearment through the fog abhor.
I aligned my head with the ray of light peered my way, and examine it; behind the scars, dirt, and turmoil, tears of hope uplifts my body from the ground, looking behind me, a sculpted body of holiness gleams and overshadows the twilight of my agitation.
I manage to drag my almost limp, lifeless body behind a boulder protecting me from the open flames of hatred.
Peering through, I see you, I chuckle because the remembrance of your sweet soul overwhelms me with hunger.
You are far, but with Him guiding me, I have no fear or withdrawal from what is to come.
I see your smile from afar.. It's so beautiful, the reminisce of my body and your body connected sends an adrenaline rush, that quickens my pace, where at times I see this Holy Spirit linger behind me..
I ponder and pester my guide to hasten His movements to be equivalent to mine..
There is no acceptance in His translucent eyes of blessing.
I look deep into the eyes and immediately wrench (MY) body the opposite way pushing (MY)self with all (MY) might straggling not turning back..
Guilt and knowledge throws my body down as my previously wounded leg gives up and overflows with blood… I become LIGHTheaded as I land in the middle between you and HIM..
I slowly get up searching for you, but my vision blurs a hazy grey in your direction.
Full of remorse and regret I scan behind me facing Him.
There is a mirage of Him near me with no space in between us.
I take that stance as a given to continue, but I look further as the hallucination fades away.
He is still in that same spot with a twinkle of forgiveness enfolded on His countenance.
I drag myself back toward him, leaving behind the steps I felt were succeeded
I sigh, I cry, I vent, I am infuriated with the actions now taken aback
There are numerous times that I gape back at you, but the more I do it without Him the more polluted you appear.
I GIVE UP, heaving my body toward Him, fine I will follow His instructions, I'm done being unfeasible.
I sit in the middle of that same boulder and Him, between the crossfire back where I started.
The shrugs of my shoulders make me chuckle again on how my oblivion could've been avoided by his enlightenment.
He helps me up gently to where I feel no wound.
The setting in which I have been placed in fades clearly into a black and white portrait.
I now see each position that I need to take to get to the other side, to finally be with you, the way I feel it should be.
Was it that obvious, it was..
The selfishness implanted into my spirit blinded me from seeing what was in front all along.
As I began to strategize and plot out my attempt to reach my highly anticipated goal
I stop myself, and look at him receiving a look of vexation, which eliminates the blueprint of my final attempt
I grab the semitransparent hand, entangling in the comfort and solitude of His plan.
With that concluding grasp, He seizes my spirit to His and we are one.
I know the way now, His way.
By my acceptance HE conquers ME, and guides me a way around where it's himself within myself, just us.
The easiest route, and I see you clearly now, as you have always seen me but now we are not alone, and you are overjoyed with pleasure, so am I.